Happy Valentine's Day

Feb 13th-14th 2024: Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays. It’s a day where we can show extra love to those we care about. Jumbo bears and massive bouquets, it’s a chance to be extravagant with your love. It’s a day to make those you love feel special. 

Everyone at the office wears pink and brings cupcakes, elementary kiddos confirm their love with the hint of a Valentine's Day card. 

Dads buy their daughters flowers, 

and someone out there is having their first Valentine's Day date. 

I love the chocolate-covered strawberries at the deli. I love the flowers sitting at the front of a store. I love the heart-shaped menu items. I love hearts period, they are my favorite symbol. 

I love chocolate. 

It’s the first time in two years that I won't be celebrating Valentine's with a “special” someone. One would think I’d mope around and feel lonely today but I feel the exact opposite. I feel fulfilled and content. I feel so safe in my presence, I feel at ease sitting here in my bed typing this essay. 

I know your phone is flooded with cute couples today and mysterious “soft-launch” posts. Despite many people feeling the heaviness of “singlehood” today, I am the most alone I have ever been but I am having the greatest time. This phase of singlehood is by far my favorite phase. 

This sentiment isn’t expressed by everyone, therefore I want to help. I want to start by deconstructing your perception of love and showing you a little bit of tough love:

 

Get your head out of the gutter. 

Your worth does not come from a romantic relationship. I understand the sentiment, but why do we search for meaning in romantic relationships when the ones who love you are right in front of you? 

Stop the self-pity. Understand everything is already formed to perfection. Shut up and live girl. A relationship will not save you from yourself. Try therapy or a job. 

A hard truth: sometimes a longing for a relationship is just the desire for connection, a lack in your current relationships, and a lack of abundance within yourself. The good news though: you can change this. You can always be a shapeshifter for your life. 

When you create a life you love for yourself, it’s hard to feel a lack. When you become your best friend and supporter, it’s easy to get back up from a rough day. It’s easier to fight back against your own cruel voices. This is the best kind of love. Warning though, this requires many many many uncomfortable conversations with yourself. I want to drill in your head that love is everywhere, you just need to learn more about gratitude and immersing yourself in the simple pleasures of life. 

Love is real and it’s alive and it’s ready for you. Love is when you make yourself a nourishing meal so you can live longer. Love is when you call your grandma because she’s getting old and one day you won’t hear her voice. Love is when you wake up and say thank you. Love is accepting the bad life brings because holy shit life is hard. Love is driving hours to surprise your best friend. Love is fitting in a long walk with yourself to reflect. Love is in you. Love is your eyes. Love is giving, but not unconditionally because one must have boundaries. Love is when your mom cuts up fresh fruit for you. Love is when your sister wants to hang out with you. Love is all the ugly your best friend sees. All the phases. All the puke in their bathroom. Love is being disgustingly yourself. So disgusting it only attracts people for you. 

I guess that’s my take, be so yourself, say thank you as much as you can, chase your dreams, and take it easy on yourself. This thing is hard. 

Happy Valentine's Day reader, I hope today is filled with love for you <3

XOXOXO