I have an addiction

I have a serious addiction. I know I'm not the only one. I have an entire generation of kids who got to have half a childhood. 

I vividly remember my life before the internet, before social media, before my brain could take in the moment without needing a picture for my Instagram feed. 

For whoever invented social media, I know you meant no harm, but I hate you so much. 

I feel robbed

I could be in the moment, yet I'm scrolling.

I wake up and take a few moments before my brain starts singing a new TikTok audio. 

I just want myself back, I want my own thoughts, I want to be able to critically think. 

and when I'm out and about I crave to be in my bed scrolling, then I scroll until I can't anymore and I feel so guilty. So much garbage in my brain. I can't stop comparing myself and wanting more. My life is so damn abundant, I don't need more. I hate these apps. I hate it all. I hate my phone. I want to run away and throw this shit in the sea. 

Every day I wake up and say I'll stay off but can't make it past 2pm. I feel out of touch if I haven't looked. I don't even know how to be with myself anymore. 

I want myself back, I want it back, this is a call for help

What do I do?